Hocus Pocus

Shannon: “Moonboots never come off the farm.”

“Monkeys Control a Robot Arm With Their Thoughts”

— New York Times, May 29, 2008

Steve Jobs is being quoted this week as saying that “people don’t read anymore.” (more…)

You said it.

Source: The Onion, accessed December 4, 2007.

Kriss: “So Jon, have you been to one of those iStores?” (Jon: “You mean the Apple Store, Kriss?” “Yes!”)

Linda: “I don’t know, I believe it was something about the cake going down your hole.”

Alisa: “You can’t have not a belly button.”

Shannon/Jon/derek: “Do I smell dope?”

Ann: “Sometimes a girl gets a sore butt.”

Shannon (of the sun): “We are talking about a heated object.”

Lucy: “Google.”

Ann: “It’s garlic Jesus.” Jake: “Does Jesus come in other flavors than garlic?”

Kriss: “I like having church on the couch.”

Alisa (?): “We’ve got to get our inaccuracies straight.”

Unknown: “That was a statement of exaggeration.”

Jon: “Of course, some of us poop in our pants.”

Kriss: “There’s too many legs here!”

Eli: “I went over here so people wouldn’t smell it!”

Ann: “Gaborgachev” and “Assarafat”

derek: “He’s got a thing for crazy, apparently.”

Alisa: “Get busy making Chex Mix, or the Chex Mix will get busy making you.”

“Errs to throne”

Chicago Tribune, October 28, 2006, referring to St. Louis’s World Series win, 4 games to 1 over Detroit

This headline works in so many ways: criticizing Detroit for making so many critical errors, dissing St. Louis by suggesting they backed into the title through little virtue of their own, and of course it’s a perfect pun.

Ann just said, “You look for software like I look for shoes.”

Segmented marketing, sure: but this is ridiculous. You might want to have more than one possible buyer in mind.

“Champs make mockery of listless Cubs”

Chicago Tribune, May 20, 2006, referring to the White Sox’s win in the Chicago teams’ first meeting of 2006